Le most cliche pokepasta ever!!!
A lung, lung, lung time ago I'd play pokemon. And I loved it!!!!!11!! My team was a charmander cuz of course it's a charmander named Fire!!!!!!!! And a pikachu named Pika!!!!!!!!!! And an ivysaur that evolve from a bulbasaur I caught named Ivy because you can totally can catch bulbasaurs!!111!!! (that sarcasm tho) But then my brother broke the game by catching missingno even though missingno can't break your game so now I can never get him back. :( But then I bought Pokemon Ruby when it came out when I was an adult!!11! However I bought the cartridge at a weird yard sale from a creepy old man! He warned me not to buy it but I ignored it and I bought it. :D The cartridge was also dirty and scratched but yet again I didn't care! I just wanted to play some pokemon so I played it on my Game Boi Advance! But the intro of the game was weird! Groundon was there! But his were eye missing! And the background was all bloody! But I thought it was a glitch and selected new game! I chose a treeko and I named it Leaf! And I caught a pikachu and I named it Pika after my old pikachu! And I also caught a wurmple named Tox who just happened evolve into dustox! And I caught another bulbasaur like you can totally catch them in Ruby and I named it Ivy after my ivysaur and it evolved into ivysaur! Then I caught a jigglypuff named Puff and I never evolved it. :) OMG my team rekt everyone!!!! Like, the game was too easy!!!!!!!! They were all level 100 by the fifth gym! Oh and along the way I caught an eevee named Umbre and it evolved into umbreon!!! And all my pokemon had max happiness!!!!!!!!!!!! But one day I found a charmander! And it was super creepy!!!!!!!!!!! The charmander had black eyes with red pupils and was covered in hyper-realistic blood!!!!!!! And it had no flame on it's tail!!!!!!! And black ooze dripped from it's eyes!!!!!!! It was so creepy!!!!!!!!! And it said “Remember me Bob?” and I was “:O” because it knew my real name!!!!!!!!!!! And it's health meter said it was Fire!!!!!!!!!! And I sent out Leaf but then the pokemon used a move called Murder! And he died!!!!!!! And I thought “You can't kill pokemon!!!!!!!” Then he killed all my other pokemon but the battle continued! Then his named change to Satan and he became level 666!!!! And then he said “Now you will die!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Then he used Murder on my trainer! And my trainer died and my trainer's sprite started decaying and he was bloody and his clothes were tattered and dirty and I could smell his rotting body through the screen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then Fire/Satan say “U are next!!!” and the screen faded to black! Then the Game Boi turn to blood!!!!!!!!!!!! Then a rotting hand come out of my floor and drag me into Hell!!!!!! The end!!!!!!!!!!!!! Category:Satire Category:Blood